Endless Carousel

I like hope,

I’m addicted to the what if’s

To the excitement of a future I know will never come,

Planning out dreams,

A route a destination a fulfilling trip that leads to nowhere,

You see this is a constant circle,

A whimsical roundabout that never stops,

One gets on, another gets off,

But I stay in circles,

I am tired of the journey,

Exhausted by the what could of beens,

You would of been my end,

To all of the travel and traversing,

And this is how I know its endless,

Because I just couldn’t get off.

Here we go again

If I could tell you what made my tears,

It would be a storied tale,

Consisting of heartache and heartbreak,

That ended up destroying my levy’s, flooding the plains of my heart,

I would like to tell you that it matters,

That I will make better of the situation,

Knowing my self is the tragic tale,

Repeating insanity, over and over,

I would like to say that I’ll change,

But my heart is misinformed and mangled,

I will do this all again.

Updating-ish

Hello everyone just checking in 🙂 

I hope this post finds everyone in good spirits.

So I hope everyone hasn’t given up on me. I had a long hiatus due to depression and lack of creative and mental insight.

I am back to writing though and I can’t wait to share, listen and generally create a since of community.

My goal for 2017 is to have another 100 poems published, kind of a low number but I want to set and beat it by a lot.

Like always I love hearing from all of you, so if you like what you see please like and subscribe to my page, and if something strikes out at you leave me a comment 🙂

Cyborg baby

My mind is fully there,

But my body runs off steam,

My heart bleeds black,

Like oil in the cogs of a machine,

My soul is deep and lively,

My gears in life running at full speed,

Tirelessly day in and day out,

I travel these tracks on wheels of mortal flesh,

Caffeine is my fuel,

Keeping everything running smoothly,

But I need a tune up,

Because my soul is bleeding,

The headlights become my smile,

And it’s dimming everyday,

Once a coat of bright paint,

I have dulled within the day.

I dare you to be happy

I don’t do angry well,

Pain and suffering,

Doesn’t suit me,

I am addicted to happiness,

I fill my syringe with my heart,

And I love unconditionally,

My hangover is the let down,

The dehydration of mankind,

My Sadness is indifference,

Fill your cup to the brim,

Every smile makes sadness into gold,

I live on the heartstrings of many,

A people pleaser,

I can’t make you happy,

But I can be kind,

The song of my soul,

Gently plays on.

You can’t buy classy

Dont you judge me,

With that smirk,

We both are at the bottom of the barrel,

I pay in change,

Chained to a reality I want to forget,

I look tired and weary,

Because I put up with the condescending,

I didnt mean to dampen your free ranged gluten free day,

You don’t even have the allergy ,

Understand this the puddle you splash as i walk on the street,

Only motivated me,

You look at me with distain,

But you don’t know what pain is,

You sit comfortable on your pumpkin spiced cloud,

Casting lightning bolts at those with out daddy’s money,

But what you don’t know,

Is that I am happy doing it on my own,

The help I get is from people that actually care,

Your heart is ashen,

Full of soot and spit,

Vile and corroded,

Money can’t buy atonement lady,

You enjoy the version of hell you embrace,

Because one day,

One sweet day, 

I will spit in your face passively .

Guard of sleep

Find me in your dreams,

I will be waiting,

Eagerly on a cloud,

Patiently surrounding my self with thoughts of you,

I fill my time floating on,

Moving through your mind

Swiftly filling your mind with the shadows of my eyes,

Through the skies of your slumber,

I gravitate towards your soul,

Mending and sewing up,

The cuts and bruises of your past,

Delicately soothing what hurts most 

The memories that sting with posion,

The wounds that just won’t stop bleeding ,

Some of these wounds I have inflicted ,

Moments where I was infected,

These wounds I cannot fix,

But I will prove that I am worthy of your dreams.

The darkness of May

I wish I could see you again ,

Timeless memories of the only beauty I know,

Voiceless whispers with our eyes like lightning,

Sweet jolts , wicked currents,

I lost you once before,

I won’t lose you yet again,

The horror of our distance has set in,

All I want to do is shake you,

To make you see what I see,

The only thing I need from you

 is for you to see 

My blood runs with you,

Your smile is a cherished crown,

And in the moment I haven’t earned it ,

The throne taken from me ,

by lies and half truths,

I vow to make our happiness my only priority

I will arm my self with acceptance,

It will take time you say,

Forever is all I need.

Barren seed

Im feeling kind of low,

My light has extinguished,

Time is running out,

I wish I was another person,

A face that meant something to Millon’s,

Yet my face has no eyes ,

No recognizable features,

I am a shadow walking across the earth,

Without purpose ,

Without a destination,

Time is my worst enemy ,

The longer I stay,

The harder I fall,

I need a surge of brilliance,

Something to make my clock tick again,

Water for this emotional draught ,

I am a seedling still I need to be nurtured through the day ,

And grow within the long lost night.

Body Dancer

The sweet naked truth,

Revealing and exposed,

Beautiful and explosive,

Your flesh, the taste of addiction,

Your silhouette has me starved,

The nape of your neck ignites my soul,

The quiver of your lips, forever mine,

Our dance, an erotic two step ,

In sync with our hearts,

Forever swaying to the beat of our loving embrace.