Mourning angel

I don’t know what I believe anymore,
The spirit has left me,
I remember as a child,
I took walks with our maker,
Through the poetry he wrote, letters to mortal men,
Strolls to the brook, bathing in purity,
Cleansed of sin,
An anthology of letters, and well written sonnets,
I could recite its verses,
defend its morality,
Judgment has passed, from both sides,
  Vicious knocks of a gavel,
angels striking the table,
Cracking my pride,
Muted prayers,
Searching for a god to hear,
Unrequited repentance,
Lost hope in a fatherless existence.

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